Aging Economics

Have you given our economic situation any thought over the last year. Who hasn’t? Just last night I was speaking with a very close friend with whom I have profound discussions weekly. Part of our topic was the economic challenge as a single person. Today, much of our society is built upon two-incomes. So how do we do it as a single? Certainly wish I had the answer. This is a question I will pose to you all at the end. However, let’s consider some thoughts. Mind you, these ideas are posed more for those who want to participate in more independent living, vs. adult care facilities.
Living on less. At some time we all have most likely been struck with this point. I find as I get older, I need, and want far less than when younger. Wish I had known this then, don’t you? Is there any way to age our ego way ahead of our biology?
Sharing more. Some time ago I had a conversation about sharing homes with like-minded others. We ended up designing a home with several living-room-bedrooms which had a small nook area for individual cooking, if desired. In the middle was a large living-dining-room with a kitchen where more open and shared space could be enjoyed among the group. The number of bedrooms was dependent upon the builder and/or the desires of the owner(s). This would allow for individual and social time with others, sharing of some expenses and not having to be alone. Seems like a healthy benefit doesn’t it?
Living together. Perhaps many of you are way ahead of me on this; let me know. Sharing of expenses is certainly an admirable scheme, however is also fraught with chance. The variations on this theme are many and would require up front agreements: social only, or more intimate and sexual living together. Either way the economics could make sense. They could also work against the individuals if not discussed and agreed to in the beginning. However, wasn’t economics our motive to begin with?
I don’t propose to have the answer to any of this. However, I do know my economic situation needs addressing, perhaps sooner than later. How about yours?
Take a moment and respond with your thoughts about how you either “beat the challenging economics,” or what thoughts you might have. I look forward to hearing from you.

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Reed

Thanksgiving Day, a traditional day to pause, give thanks and then proceed to take advantage of our blessings and overindulge ourselves in the bounty of food we are grateful for. How many have felt so grateful after a meal so filling, the feelings of discomfort posited a pledge to not indulge so auspiciously again next year? To solve that quandary, this year I decided to singularly take matters, and food, into my own hands and stay home alone, fix a meal for myself so that I would not overeat and then wish for a digestive miracle.

Through the day I reflected upon what I was grateful for. First of all, my life and health have provided me a healthy body. At my present age, I realize, in comparison to many others who have gone before me, I could be on borrowed time.

Other things to be grateful for are my two children whom I do not have to be concerned about as they have always been very capable of seeing sensible and appropriate paths for themselves. My daughter has two delightful children whom have grown up so quickly. Being at a significant distance, I have missed so much of their growing young lives I wonder how I can ever catch up.

My home is comfortable and warm. Each day I read of those without a home with even more becoming homeless daily. We are a nation of so much, yet paradoxically, so many people with so little.

Some years ago I heard Jean Houston respond to the question about what she would miss the most if she lost it. It took her in tears to her knees when she stated, “my mind.” Being inquisitive seems to not completely describe my thirst for knowledge. I am so grateful to be able to continue to learn who we are and why we are here.

Continuous learning is critical to keeping a sharper mind. It allows me to continue to work at a sustained intensity to continue challenging my university students. They are part of my “universe” of understanding. Thank you.

Friends so close they could be siblings are an important consultative team that I can share the challenges of my life. As colleagues and friends, they are coaches I rely upon to investigate alternatives for future actions no matter what the topic. Thank you for being there!

Pets have not been much of a part of my life for the last 25 years. However, when my 8 week old Buddy (his appropriate name) came into my life and connected with me by sleeping under my neck I was smitten by the kitten. How could I not be grateful for a little guy who daily sits on my chest and rubs my neck?

I am forever appreciative and grateful for a spiritual guidance instilled at a young age that has continued to sustain me through mountains and more than just valleys. I have never doubted I would be OK. Thank you.

Lastly, a newly discovered writing gift to hopefully put thought and thoughtfulness to paper is more than just appreciated, I hope to value it in more ways than one.

No matter where each of us live, we all have much to be grateful. Our blessings may be camouflaged in many ways. These obstacles may be there for us to look beyond as the resultant may be appreciated more.

What are you thankful for today? I invite you to share with our readers what you are grateful for this Thanksgiving.

Finding value as we age; after the reunion.

Sitting in my hotel room hovering over my lap top attempting to concentrate on my email, I began to notice my feelings of anxiety and some trepidation. I couldn’t put my finger on it, however, it was disturbing. As I spoke to a friend about it over the phone a few moments later, I identified the fear of attending my 50th high school reunion coming up in a matter of hours.

Over 100 of us, plus spouses and partners, were converging upon Grants Pass, OR to renew old friendships, stories, sports, classrooms, and teachers. In the back of our minds I am sure each of us wondered if we would know anyone. As I drove into town I looked carefully to see if I might know the person I was passing. Certainly, I did not want others thinking they did not know me. I had no idea what I was about to encounter.

Later, as I entered the room where the reunion was to be held, I took one brief look at those in the room and stated, “I am in the wrong place.” These people looked older than I thought myself to be. Immediately, I got caught up in the hoopla of the moment and the joy of seeing classmates I had not seen in 5-50 years. I even joked during my comments to the group that none of us probably see ourselves as old as the ones next to us.

As the evening wore on, I was becoming more aware of feelings deep inside. Stopping to identify them at the time would extract me emotionally from the entertainment and enjoyment of the moment. After all, it was a reunion to experience classmates with whom I had shared moments from joy to excruciating trauma some 50-54 years ago. Some even longer, as we attended Jr. High together. One of the things I shared with some classmates, with whom I had just walked off the golf course, was that I had never felt a part of my class. Just this sharing helped to feel a part. I wondered how many others felt the same way.

The weekend was tremendously enjoyable in so many ways. There were those who wore their silver and white hair like elegant manes. Others had aged beyond recognition; still others we would surely know in another 50 years.

As the weekend ended Sunday morning over breakfast and a spiritual service with some brief historical and individual anecdotes, I began to feel the rumbling in the pit of my stomach again. Later, my 10 hour drive home would help get in touch with what I now call my “mortality mirror.”
Many of our conversations over the weekend began with: “Well, I’m not on the board.” This was the memorial board of those whom had passed on. We all humorously joked about the possibility that each of us could be next and therefore not here for our next reunion 5 years hence. However, as I listened to my classmates, and later to myself, I understood many to be glowingly happy; some others still looking in pain, some seemingly in a haze; some retired, others still working. Underneath, there seemed to be an “unrecognized knowing” that our lives were on the downside of the curve. Many will not be there come 5 years.

I wouldn’t fully realize the impact of the weekend until some days after arriving home. I began to feel a sense of loss and grief. What I came to know was that on my “backside of the curve,” I didn’t know how much time I had left and I didn’t want to live it out without experiencing some of the glowing joy I had seen on a few of my classmate’s faces. I had written about it over the years, knowing it only from brief glimpses of my own experiences and the writings of others. I wanted more of what they had.

Poignant questions taunted me: What is my purpose now? What do I want now? What will make me happy? What do I have left to do? How much time have I left? Am I really happy now?”
I wanted to hear more from my classmates to enable me to put their stories into some context along with how they answered these questions. In total, I wanted more for my life. I stopped occasionally to wonder how some of them answered these questions.

Ultimately, I had a reunion with my Self. I have come more fully to realize my limited time here on terra firma. The rumbling in my crucible is that of change and challenge once again. It is time to get moving, not of retiring and reclining. To stop and consider the end is really stopping. To consider living is going on living.

As a result of my encounter I have decided to create this blog to enable others to share their thoughts about how they find value during their latter years as they age.

I am also planning to take a 9-12 month nationwide tour on a motorcycle to create awareness about what life we have left. During this tour I will interview seniors about their lives and how they find value in later years. For me, I want to fill as much of my life as possible living with joy and fulfillment no matter my age. I am also going to write more articles and focus on challenging more seniors to live more on the edge than “on the board!"

If you are a senior, how do you find value in your life? How do you find vibrancy? What keeps you going?
Reed Daugherity